How to get over losing friends on your self-improvement journey

I had a bad week; nearly all social interactions I participated in (except from those with family members) turned surprisingly sour, leaving me with a sense of dejection. Once again, I was disappointed with people I considered “old friends”, and it hurt enough to make me decide I won’t invest myself emotionally anymore.

What happened, exactly? Well, I tried to share my perspective and give some common advice in an attempt to help the other person out of their unhappiness. As it turned out, my intervention was unwelcome.

At times, things were even funnier: I didn’t even need to say anything, just trying to become a better version of myself triggered the other person so much that they:

  • stopped having time for interactions with me;
  • started reacting with aggression when I tried to talk to them;
  • completely ghosted me (and blocked me on social media as well);
  • actually tried to destroy things that I created for myself.

If I had done something bad to those people, I would have understood that they treated me like that. But, I haven’t done anything at all. I’ll tell you more: I was a great friend. I texted these friends regularly, I listened to them, I provided emotional support. But then, one day this, or last year, I was just cut out from their life, either without an explanation, or under a petty excuse I’d personally be ashamed to give. Trying to fix things was pointless, cause – they have already decided to throw me away.

“It is isn’t a high school thing or an age thing. It’s a people thing. People cut other people down out of jealousy, because of something broken inside them, or for no reason at all. Just don’t let them change you or stop you from singing or dancing around to your favorite song” – Taylor Swift

In 2013, I wasn’t doing that great. I was a depressed, anorexic girl who whined all the time about their pitiful existence. I had tons of friends at that time, everyone loved me, everyone wanted to meet me. Everyone was willing to lend a listening ear, and to comfort me. 

In 2016, I began a personal revolution. And I haven’t ceased to improve myself, and my life, ever since. I’ve lost so many friends since then, that in the end, I began to hide the things I was working on, and the successes I had, for fear of losing even more old friends.

And since this has been going on for quite a long time, I’ve noticed a pattern.

Generally, the people who cut me off, are the ones who would like to change something, but never actually made any real steps (or gave up too fast). In short: those who lacked diligence and/or couldn’t deal with failures.

If you are somebody who has improved their life a lot thanks to your own determination and hard work – and your friends who haven’t followed this path are suddenly much less eager to hang out with you – know that it’s not your fault. You can’t force these people to become better versions of themselves, you can’t rescue them from continuing the mediocre lives that they are living. Changing something is up to them, not to you.

Sometimes, just being around you is enough to trigger them. Seeing you become the best version of yourself reminds them that they did nothing to improve their life, cause they were too lazy and lacked discipline. This is likely to install guilt and resentment in them, which will eventually make them avoid you. After all, it’s easier to cut you out rather than chase your success. Sad, but true.

And from a Law Of Attraction philosophy point of view: your vibration has changed so much, that you aren’t a match to that person anymore, and this is exactly what makes your relationship break.

The Universe works like a mirror: if you are a diligent person dedicated to self-improvement, you will mirror diligent people dedicated to self-improvement. Not people who are stagnating or regressing in their lives.

Sadly, instead of going to places where we could actually meet new people who would be vibrational matches to us, we continue digging in our friends’ list on Facebook, hoping to reignite the friendship with somebody we already new. 

Which shouldn’t be a surprise. In the past, people were confined to their own village, and didn’t have many social options.

Sometimes, it might happen so, that an old Facebook friend shares the exact same interests as you – a month ago or so I reconnected with two old Facebook friends and it turned out that we had more things to discuss now than earlier. Which is a great thing.

However… in the majority of cases, Facebook is nothing else but a cemetery of old friendships.

We go on Facebook to take a look at the profile of a person who used to be our friend in the past, but this doesn’t change the fact that we’ve parted our ways with that person and are two completely different people now. We keep each other on Facebook, cause removing each other would equal to pretending we don’t know each other.

Often, we feel forced to hide who we are, simply because we have too many people on Facebook who aren’t our vibrational match. Instead of posting what we really care about, we worry what our old friends will think about us.

For this reason, I believe, that instead of focusing our attention on friends who ghosted us, or old acquaintances on Facebook, it’s best to spend time with people with whom we actually have something in common now. Not earlier.

  • If you want to learn something, go to Skillshare or Masterclass.
  • If you are a fan of something, go to AminoApps or Fanpop.
  • If you are an artist, go to DeviantArt or Etsy.
  • If you are an author, go on Twitter and Amazon.
  • If you want to learn a language, go to Lang-8.
  • If you want to travel, go to Couchsurfing and TripAdvisor.
  • If you want to come out, go to an LGBTQIA+ community.

Simply be where your people are, and in no time, you’ll have tons of new friends with whom you can talk about everything.

There are people like you, just (probably) not on your Facebook. Continue your self-improvement journey and the right people will fit in.

I hope it helps.

Stay inspired, keep creating!

Advertisements

Why the internet is making us unhappy in the long run and how to plan a successful detox

In the early 2000s, mainstream media kept discussing negative effects of computer addiction. Now, nobody speaks about it anymore – the topic has been swept under the carpet.

When you google “how to limit screen time” in an attempt to help yourself, you mostly find advice for parents trying to impose internet curfews on their children’s routines. But, it’s not children who are struggling the most – it’s us, young adults turning 20-30. We grew up together with the internet, and we were always hungry for it; it was limited, imperfect, true… but it had so much potential.

With time, our hunger has totally got out of control instead of being satiated. It doesn’t make any difference whether we’re using our phone, computer or tablet – we just never disconnect.

The internet is an incredible blessing, but as we all know, too much of a good thing can have negative consequences.

Health experts will say, obesity.

I say, with all miracle diets and social pressure, it’s hard to see an obese person on the street (at least in my country, Poland).

What truly concerns me is the fact that mental illness is on the rise. Everyone has something nowadays: depression, anxiety, panic disorder, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, autism, ADHD… Tons of people are on a perpetual quest to be happy, but nobody actually is, and each day, dr. Google is answering millions of questions: do I have this? do I have that? is this (that) the reason why things are not okay?

Phobias are also on the rise. We google things that worry us, read unsolicited opinions, and start panicking. We become hyper-concerned with things that happened to three people in a million, and refuse to acknowledge the fact we’re more likely to die from old age rather than this (or that) scary disease.

Moreover, we compare ourselves with literally everyone – not just the people we know personally know, but also with strangers – people we would never even hear of,  if it wasn’t for the internet. We all want to eat like diet gurus, have bodies like professional athletes and sing like YouTube superstars etc. This demands perfection on all fronts and puts an incredible pressure on us.

Take the Law Of Attraction community: if you haven’t manifested your ex yet, if you aren’t living in a house like Victoria Beckham, you’ll hear you’re doing things wrong.

In the past, simple things made people happy. Now, nothing seems to be enough. People want more, more and MORE. Their happiness is utterly conditional, and it depends on a thousand factors, which must all fall into place. Buy this, buy that, do this, do that… We are doing tons of things to be happy, but the more we try, the less happy we actually feel.

The insane quest to live perfect lives advertised online is signing us up for a mental breakdown in the future – if it hasn’t happened yet.

We all know that life is unpredictable, imperfect and difficult; and that it won’t always go the way we want it. Nevertheless, we feel pressured to at least pretend we control everything. Those who struggle to keep it all together in a traditional order, feel like they have a serious problem (usually a mental one), while actually, everything would be okay if it wasn’t for the constant pressure to wear a mask and the superman’s (or supergirl’s) suit.

Nowadays, we’re basically living in a modern version of ancient Sparta. Spartans weren’t allowed to show any weakness; nor can we.

*

A few days ago, I sat in front of my family house together with my mother, and I told her:

“You know what? I can’t do this anymore, what’s going on in the internet right now is bigger than my mind. I can’t process all these ideas, opinions and trends, everything is changing so fast, it’s making me confused, I can’t live the way the internet wants me to. Sometimes, I just want to disconnect, and listen to my reason speaking. I believe that this can protect my sanity.”

“Then disconnect,” my mother said. “You don’t have to be online all the time.”

“But what will I do?” I asked, and I realized there was a new problem: if I limited my screen time to three hours a day, which was my goal, what would I do with the rest of my time?

We’re so used to wasting our time online that when we choose to detox, we simply have no idea what to do with all this free time – and boredom.

Boredom, from which we are all running away, is the perfect antidote for anxiety. Why? Because boredom implies that life is predictable, that things don’t change as fast as we think they’re changing. When we’re sitting idle, and nothing in particular is going on around us, we finally get an opportunity to chill out. Inner peace, which is the building block of happiness and a feeling of safety, can be found in nature, prayer and meditation – but not online.

*

Now, let’s get to the second part of this article: how to plan a successful detox. Lots of people online offer extreme solutions, like deleting your social media or staying in a monastery for the whole week. Although this type of advice might work for some, it’s setting the majority up for failure. When you want to make drastic changes in your life, it’s always better to opt for baby steps.

Step 1: Write a list of things you do online and assess if they are good or bad for you.

My list looked more or less like this: I spend most time on Youtube listening to music, which is great, as I love music. But, I spend a lot of time on Facebook too, which frustrates me, and instead of actually doing things, I post them on Tumblr or Pinterest. Then – the worst of the worst – I read tons of medical articles, which only fuels my health anxiety – and this one definitely has to go.

Step 2: Make a conscious decision to let go of what you know is bad for you.

If you have a problem with sticking up with your decisions, try Habitica. It’s a free rpg where your character levels up each time you check off positive habits on your list.

Step 3: Plan well what to do with more free time.

It’s time to take your bucket list out of that dusty drawer, and see what are the things you always wanted to do, but never found time to. Maybe you wanted to work out daily or learn a new language. Now it’s the time.

Step 4: Start saving money for real-life fun.

When you choose to make an internet detox, you quickly realize that in the real world barely anything is free. Start saving money for costly goals, so that the lack of money doesn’t push you back into the internet addiction.

If, for some reason, you want to limit your online time even further – like me, whose goal is to spend 3 hours online at most – check the next steps:

Step 5: Check which of the things you do online can be done offline as well.

Here are some examples:

  • Call (or meet) your friends instead of texting them.
  • Put the music on your mp3 instead of constantly changing songs on YouTube.
  • Download materials you might need for e.g. studying, working out or cooking.
  • Stick to paper copies instead of e-books.

Step 6: Post more of your own content online. (!)

Yes, you read it right. It might seem counter-intuitive, but if you make a rule to post more of your own content online, it will motivate you to do more of that thing about which you’re posting. A perfect example are people who work out, create handmande jewelry, knit sweaters or bake cakes. Their dashboards are full of what they do, which gives other an opportunity to encourage their passions. This pushes them even deeper in what they like doing!

I hope this helps.

Stay inspired, keep creating!

The spiritual explanation of the bipolar disorder (manic depression)

Today, I’m going to share with you my thoughts on the possible spiritual causes of the bipolar disorder (aka manic depression).

Please note, that I won’t be discussing medical (chemical, environmental etc.) roots of this disorder, as I’m not a physician. If you think that you might be suffering from bipolar disorder or are in an emotional crisis, please consult a doctor or call 911.

The content of this article contains my own hypothesis, and while I’m hoping it will bring you some insight and ease your emotional pain, the advice I’m giving you can’t replace mainstream treatment of this difficult condition.

When I think of the bipolar disorder (BD), the following quote comes to my mind:

“It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply.”

David Jones

For those of you who are suffering from BD, David Jones’ short poems must be speaking volumes. After all, your life is a mix of extreme emotions, and you struggle to find emotional balance.

There are theories online which state that the bipolar disorder is the presence of several souls within one body, or that your soul has been possessed by demons. While it is widely claimed in the spiritual community that traumatic memories might leave a red stain on your aura, we can’t be sure of that, as aura isn’t something that can be scientifically researched.

My main thought is, the bipolar disorder is just another expression of the Law Of Polarity. There is light and shadow, life and death, health and illness, joy and sorrow. Someone who suffers from the bipolar disorder gets to experience extreme emotions. Constant shifts between extremes tend to create chaos. Chaos can’t be controlled, which creates intense feelings of fear.

When you look at the vibrational scale of the Law Of Attraction, you will notice that negative emotions tend to be described with lower vibrations, and positive emotions – with higher vibrations. When someone suffers from the bipolar disorder, their vibration changes all the time. Maintaining it at a healthy and stable level is a challenge.

According to the Law Of Attraction doctrine, our vibration is the result of our feelings and the beliefs we have in our subconsciousness. This leads me to the hypothesis that people dealing with the bipolar disorder hold two opposite spiritual truths. These truths are: “life is amazing” and “life is hopeless”.

Positive moments in life reinforce our belief that life is amazing, while negative moments in life promote the belief that life is hopeless.

I suspect that people who have bipolar disorder have experienced both crushing tragedies and incredible miracles in their lives. This led them to the realization that life can be both amazing and horrible.

And since our brains are wired for survival, we tend to assume that life is horrible, and this creates fear – which morphs into excitement (and mania).

The state of mania isn’t true euphoria or genuine happiness. It’s the combination of our belief that life is always amazing, and a fear of the opposite truth. This fear causes irrate behavior – the manic person is doing all they can to abolish (or at least mask) their inner belief that life is actually completely hopeless.

Episodes of mania are exhausting, and they end in depression, as the bipolar person shifts towards the truth they fear the most: that life is hopeless.

However, there is positive and negative in life, and soon, a positive event triggers the bipolar person to return to the belief that life is amazing – and a manic episode happens again.

In short: those who suffer from bipolar disorder can’t accept that there is both good and bad in life. For them, it’s either ALL GOOD, or it’s ALL BAD. And since life has its ups and downs, the bipolar people CHANGE THEIR MIND (AND THEIR VIBRATION) ALL THE TIME.

Since both truths are deeply rooted in their minds and reinforced by events that had happened, it’s easy to shift from one to another in a short time.

A bipolar person struggles to accept that both truths are true/false to some degree, as this thought creates chaos – and chaos creates fear. It’s easier to believe that everything is good – or that everything is bad – rather than accept uncertainty in life.

Those who can’t accept uncertainty probably experienced extreme, soul-crushing traumas that changed their personalities – and the miracles that they had experienced, although big, weren’t enough to create a belief that this person’s life was a positive experience.

Another thing that we to talk about is the voice in your head:

“One morning, I awakened and I found the invader.”

“Bella Ciao”, an Italian folk song

The voices in the head of a bipolar person constantly tell them what to think and do. The bipolar person is helpless against them – their inner voice, their intuition, their inner truth – has been silenced down, and instead, the “invader” operates the system.

We are all born naive, but we seldom die in this state of mind. Several traumatic situations in our lives teach us to be careful and to adopt thoughts (and behaviors) which will protect us from harm.

I suspect that somebody who has to cope with the “invader” in their head, is still operating from a post-traumatic space, rather than from a healed, self-loving space.

The “invader” dictates the bipolar person’s behavior, as the bipolar person doesn’t actually believe that they can cope in life. They’ve been hurt too many times, they know it will happen again, and mania is a desperate attempt to feel better and enjoy whatever makes them happy in what they believe is a hopeless world (parties, sex etc.).

Bipolar people teach less emotionally awakaned people how to experience things deeply; while their own spiritual lesson is learning how to experience things in a more shallow way.

Which, however, isn’t easy for the bipolar people. I theorize that the bipolar people try to adopt one belief about the nature of this world (ALL GOOD or ALL BAD), so that they can control what’s going on in their lives. I speculate that a parental figure put more pressure and responsibility on the soon-to-be bipolar person that they could take, and that they are still trying to meet that parental figure’s expectations, even if that parental figure is gone.

I’ll give you an example from my own life. I was brought up by a strict and controlling grandfather, who blamed me for things that were out of my control.

In Poland we have cottage cheese, and a characteristic of it is that it quickly turns to cheese crumbs. When you put this type of cheese on your sandwich, half of the cheese is likely to fall down as you rise the sandwich to your mouth to eat it.

And my grandfather had always blamed me for that. But I can’t change the nature of the cottage cheese. No matter how I try not to make it fall off my sandwich, it always will. And if you mix it with cream, at least a few cheese crumbs are likely to fall out of the plastic box and on the floor during the preparation process.

When you are constantly blamed for things that you can’t control, your mind learns that in order to be socially accepted, you must control everything – even the uncertainty of life. Accepting the belief that there is GOOD AND BAD in life still means that life is uncertain. So, the bipolar person will opt for partial truths – ALL GOOD or ALL BAD.

And these truths are what creates the mess – at least, from the spiritual point of view.

Here is how major religions (and philosophies) cope with the dualism of the world:

  • Judaism, Christianity, Islam and even the Law Of Attraction (!) try to protect people from uncertainty by convincing them that ALL IS GOOD because of the presence of a benevolent God (or Universe; whatever you call it).
  • Atheism promotes the view that there is no protective force, which in turn fosters the idea that ALL IS BAD.
  • Hinduism, Greek Polytheism and Pagan Witchcraft (!) strive to shield followers  from uncertainty by introducing the idea of quarreling gods (in case of polytheism) or natural laws (summer-winter etc.).
  • Buddhism and several meditation schools attempt to rescue everyone from the effects of instability in life by rejecting both the good and the bad.

Some bipolar people might find solace in these great religions; but not everyone. Some might believe during their manic phase just to lose all their faith in the depressive phase. This might lead them to abandoning their religious belief all together.

I believe that the key to finding balance in this uncertain world is to accept the fact that we are here to experience as many things as possible, rather than strive to perfection and try to find the answer to the question whether life is good (or bad).

Tons of philosophers had been pondering about this for ages and they reached conclusions that worked for them – but not for everyone. There is no universal agreement about the nature of life. People just choose whatever resonates with them more. And from a spiritual point of view, bipolar people just can’t choose on what they want to believe.

From my own experience, I can tell you that life gets better when you take care of yourself and stop trying to be perceived as someone you are not. But feeling better doesn’t mean that your life will always be perfect. Believing this is complete naivety, just like believing that everything will always go bad.

The existence of such extreme contrast in your belief system creates a lack of harmony. You are constantly trying to find an answer, and because you don’t have it, and you keep oscillating between the two options, you tend to feel broken. And when you’re broken, you start pretending that you are okay, just to be accepted in the society. At one point, it becomes so much of a burden, that bipolar people start self harming or commit suicide.

I believe that the key to resolving the problem of the bipolar disorder on the spiritual level is freeing yourself from these three tasks:

  1. Determining whether the nature of life is good (or bad).
  2. Controlling what can’t be controlled to prove your idea about the nature of life.
  3. Selling the world a perfect version of yourself to prove your idea about the existence of perfection (order) in an uncertain world.

We are here to experience, not to: judge the world we live in, be wiser than the Universe itself and fake perfection that can’t exist.

You need to rest from all the psychological stress you’re giving yourself. Take your medication. Change your lifestyle. Let yourself be a flawed person living in a flawed world. Maybe the Universe is only figuring out how to create a perfect world; as you can see, with the development of societies, the standard of life worldwide has improved tremendously.

I hope this helps.

Stay inspired!

* * *

Related articles on Ultimate Manifester:

Does being in the Law Of Attraction community give you pressure to follow other people’s dreams?

When you first join the Law Of Attraction community, you quickly notice that almost everyone has the same, standard dreams.

People want to meet their twin flame; to own a house, a car, a lucky lottery ticket; to be perpetually young and in ideal health; and to travel around the world.

If you are, or have been, in the Law Of Attraction community for a longer while – and still haven’t achieved these manifestation goals – it’s likely that the community will look down on you. You will receive subtle messages that you haven’t truly done your best as a manifester. Slowly, you might start doubting the Law Of Attraction, as it “failed to provide what you desired”.

But are these things that you are asking for something that you really desire?

A problem with the Law Of Attraction that nobody speaks about, is, it gives us pressure to excel on the “standard dreams path” and become “same as everyone else”. While that path might not fit us at all.

I’ll give you an example from my own life.

I planned to go to work after graduating from college in my husband’s country; but I found out that in order to get the working visa, I needed to score two years of work experience in my homeland first. This put me on crossroads: I could either start my own business for the experience, and just live with him, relying on my family to support me; or return to my own country, take a real job, and enjoy the financial independence.

Although the first choice was very tempting, I chose the latter one. I lasted 6 months in two jobs that I hated (1 of which I spent on a sick leave following a mental breakdown). One day after my second contract ended, I was already in the city office, registering my own business. Then, I packed my bags and left, to be with my husband.

I stayed at his home, freelancing online and investing time into the publishing house I’ve founded. These two jobs brought me a lot of joy, yet my passive income earnings oscillated around 100$ per month – and were meaningless in comparison with costs, and the amount of time I’ve spent working (usually 12 hours a day).

Still, I was proud of myself. I created a business based on my passion, I was doing what I loved, and I slowly started seeing progress.

Yet, my small successes seem to be nothing in comparison to my friends’ successes, who got their master degrees and landed well-paid and secure corporate jobs. Nobody I know has been struggling financially as much as I have in the last year. I cut all unnecessary expenses to save up and invest in the publishing business.

A few days ago, I went out to the town with my mother, and all of sudden, I started stressing about my looks. I was wearing old clothes, had a hairstyle from 5 months ago, and my cheap nail polish was totally ruined even though I put it on less than one week ago.

“But what are you ashamed of?” My mother asked me. “Clothes do not make the man. Show me another person who has worked so hard, and created so many amazing things.”

Sadly, the Law Of Attraction is about Perfection, and according to lots of coaches, if your life isn’t perfect, if you don’t own a villa at the seaside, you aren’t doing things the right way.

And this has inspired me to write this post. To tell you, that although the Law Of Attraction community is likely to impose the exact same dreams on you, you need to remain on your path and stick to what you truly want.

Don’t let the stereotype of what you should have, or do, prevent you from being who you are and what really matters to you.

As long as you do what you believe in, and it fulfills you spiritually, you can rest assured that you are on the right path.

I hope this helps.

Stay inspired!

Manifesting time specific goals with the Law Of Attraction

Hi, everyone! Today, I want to discuss the issue of manifesting time specific goals with the Law Of Attraction. For example:

  • Manifest a bachelor degree;
  • Manifest 2 years of work experience for an overseas visa;
  • Manifest the retirement day;
  • Manifest the birth of your son;

We all know that these things take time. But, if we have a goal standing behind them – e.g. moving across the world to be with our loved one, or quitting a job we aren’t cut for – time specific goals are likely to cause us a lot of frustration. After all, who wants to wait for something when they feel they are 100% ready to have it right now?

We can take advantage of time’s intriguing nature and speed it up, but we need to be incredibly mindful about it. Sped up time is time spent, and it can’t be given back. If we let it fly on autopilot in an attempt to manifest things faster, we risk omitting other important things, and acting out of our subconsciousness rather than consciousness. And this, my dear manifesters, is likely to create the illusion that we have lost our power.

Let’s learn more about time specific goals:

  1. They are different from standard LoA goals (that can be attracted fast and usually require us to spend some money (which is another form of time)).
  2. The manifestation is guaranteed, if appropriate action is paired with the time required by the goal (e.g. if you train karate for 20 years, you are very likely to receive a black belt).
  3. The challenge of time specific goals is staying patient, cultivating a positive mindset through harsh times, continuing to work in silence and contenting yourself with invisible results (which are in fact building your overnight success in the future).
  4. The prize for time specific goals is obtaining something that’s unavailable to others who weren’t willing to sacrifice what you had sacrificed.

When I was 14 years old, I invented a story where characters boarded a plane to go on holidays. But instead of actually flying to some other place, they sat in the plane, while the outside world was changing the scenography so that they could get the impression that they actually went somewhere (while they didn’t). It was a strange idea, but it applies very much to time specific goals. The Universe needs time to construct things for you.

I know you want it now, but think about this scenarios:

Two twin flames that were supposed to fall in love and marry at the age of 30, meet at the age of 15. The girl hasn’t figured out what she wants in her future partner, and the boy hasn’t had a chance to become it yet. They might look at each other and not notice that they were meant to be. Without the time and challenges which help us mature emotionally, obtaining what we truly want is not possible.

The problem with waiting:

Knowing when our time-related goal will manifest doesn’t make the wait any easier. We are tired of facing the contrast between our dream reality, and the current reality. This is likely to lower our vibration and make us feel like we’ll never truly get there.

In order to help ourselves, we must look or signs that the Law Of Attraction is working in our favor. That sign can be literally everything; you’ll comprehend it’s a sign as soon as you look on it. I felt bad about my current situation for a time, but I kept seeing 11:11, and other mirrored hours a few times a day, for months. I read horoscopes and checked the tarot, and got the same time of result over and over again: you will receive what you want, but later. And on the day, when I lost almost all hope, I saw some guy wearing a t-shirt saying, Glory MUST BE POWERFUL. This sentence stuck in my head. What if the time that you must wait is actually a blessing, and its aim is making you more powerful?

One of the signs that what you are manifesting is on its way, is meeting the people who have exactly what you want. If your vibrational state is high, you will naturally see it as an opportunity for yourself to level up. If your vibrational state is low, you will feel gut-wrenching envy.

The envy is nothing more but a vibration of desperate desire mixed feelings of lack and hopelessness. The thought “They have something I will never ever have” is a disempowering lie. You can manifest the exact same experience that they have. I’ll tell you more: you are already maniesting it; otherwise, you wouldn’t even meet that person. Don’t shy away from them. Talk to them, learn who they are, pay attention to their  vibration. Try to tune into it. This will help you progress.

Keep in mind that trying to manifest a time specific goal faster than it takes is like fighting with mindmills. You are wasting your manifestation power.

If I was another Law Of Attraction coach, I’d probably tell you to accept, let go and smile. But, I am the Ultimate Manifester. I can accept a gift, a blessing, an opinion – but not a situation which is causing me significant distress. Moreover, I actually believe, that having no resistance whatsoever to the evil around us makes us attract even more of that. So, I am not going to tell you, sorry Gregory, but you have to grit your teeth and accept it.

Instead, my advice for you is: 

Stop obsessing over that particular goal.

When I was on the last year of my bachelor studies, I applied for a scholarship to China. I wanted to go there, but I didn’t obsess about it. I got the scholarship for March 2017 in June 2016, which meant I’d have to wait 8 more months to actually leave my country. Instead of giving in to impatience, I focused on other goals I had. I finally dedicated time to learning Korean. I signed up for a Bollywood dance class. I read Latin American authors. I did lots of interesting things, and the wait wasn’t as bad as one would have thought.

The time specific goals can’t run away from you… unless you give up on them. Which I’m sure you won’t do.

Direct your manifestation power towards a goal that’s not time specific – preferably a goal which will improve your current situation.

Let’s say you want to graduate from high school, so you can finally escape your toxic classmates. Been there – done that – got the t-shirt. I couldn’t change schools because there was only one IB class in the whole city – and I cared too much about it to just give up because of a bunch of stupid teenagers.

I tried different strategies around them. In the first year, I was nice. In the second year, I was mean. In the third year, I pretended they didn’t exist. Yet no matter what I did, I just couldn’t escape. I was grounded with them, and I had to tolerate.

So what did I do?

I focused on other things. I paid attention to the teachers and to the material. I signed up for extracurricular activities I was interested in. I started new friendships. I wasn’t 100% happy, but at least I’ve made some memories. And these memories are much better than getting frustrated with the Universe over a time specific goal.

Our journey continues, regardless of whether we are at our specific goal or not.

I hope this helps.

Stay inspired!

* * *

Need even more advice?

Book a Law Of Attraction ConsultationBook your Law Of Attraction consultation now!

Are you watching movies, playing games or reading books instead of living your own life?

Let’s start this article with a confession from the Ultimate Manifester. This confession is likely to terrify you – but sometimes, we all need some shock in our lives, just to get back on track.

I try not to consume too much culture.

  • I don’t watch movies.
  • I seldom watch TV series.
  • I seldom read fiction.
  • I seldom play computer games (with an exception from phone games – sometimes, I’m just too bored when waiting for a meal, or taxi).

So what do you do?! How do you live?! Aren’t you bored?! Besides – aren’t you a novelist maybe? Where do you draw inspiration from?

My answer is:

I’m trying to live my life instead of someone else’s. And if I’m tired with my own life, I either create culture, or learn new things.

  • If I want to read a book, I write it.
  • If I want to look at a picture, I paint it.
  • If I want to play a visual novel, I program it.
  • If I want to watch a movie, I animate it.
  • If I want to learn something, I go learn it.
  • If I want to try something, I go try it.
  • If I want to speak a language, I speak it.

Yesterday, my husband’s friends arrived at our place to cook some seafood. While my husband and his bro retreated to the kitchen to prepare crayfish and oysters, I remained in the living room with the bro’s girlfriend. We tried to complete a 1000 pieces puzzle, and talked. It turned out very quickly that she had no interests whatsoever, except from movie watching and roaming around the downtown. She was so boring. And the worst is, 95% of the people I know are exactly the same.

I don’t like getting personal, and sharing things about myself. But for the sake of this article, I will make an exception.

I will be 25 this year. And I already have a ton of achievements.

  • At the age of 21, I published my first book. At the age of 24, I started my own publishing house.
  • I speak fluently 4 languages (Polish, Italian, English and Chinese), can read in 2 (German and Spanish) and decipher 1 (Korean).
  • I have a degree in Far East Asian studies, and at the age of 23, I moved from Europe to Asia.
  • I am a spiritual coach. I researched religions, followed different spiritual teachers and meditated.
  • I have been doing intermittent fasting for almost a year now, and are at my dream weight. I tried different sports in my life, including swimming, skiing, dancing and karate.
  • I am an artist. I can make mosaics, friendship bracelets and clay sculptures. I can create art traditionally and digitally. I can turn photography into a movie, and I can program a simple computer game. I can recognize music genres by listening to them. And I can play the piano.

I will be 25 this year.

T w e n t y – f i v e .

I am not a genius. My IQ score is rather average. I was always stupid at maths, and at physics (and at life, lol). But, when other people watched movies, played games and swallowed one novel after another, I invested time into myself. I wanted to become better than my yesterday self. So, I learned new things. I studied and practiced. I tried, I failed, I tried again, then failed again. When others thought about partying, I thought about becoming a master at something. Not everything was for me – I gave up on a lot of things on my way. But, at least, I had given it all a try.

Now let’s return to the people who binge watch movies (or play games, or read novels; whatever).

From the spiritual point of view, the movie is someone else’s idea. This idea was successfully manifested and brought the creator fulfillment, money and fame.

But what does it bring to you? It only steals away your time. Instead of manifesting your own idea, and making your own life better, you are sitting in the dark movie theater (or on your bed, whatever), forgetting about your purpose, ignoring your inner voice, running away from your potential.

I am not saying that we shouldn’t go to the cinema. I am not saying that computer games are bad. I am not saying that getting lost in a book is wrong.

What I am saying is, lots of people just binge watch shows and do nothing at all with their lives. They waste their intelligence, their talents, their potential. Days turn to months, months turn to years. Dreams fade away or get swept under the carpet.

Watching movies is an addiction praised in the society. People feel proud about the nights lost on Netflix or HBO. If you don’t understand a TV series joke, or don’t recognize a famous face, you are out of the clique. If you try to live your life, and actually do things, you are seen as brave. Because the majority’s way of thinking is as follows: why bother doing something if I can watch a movie about it?

The movie is the safe option. Take Cobra Kai, my favorite TV series: you get all of the excitement of being in a karate environment, without the sweat, the pain, the failure.

I wanted to train karate ever since I was an 8 year old. But, I was scared to try. I was fat, bad at sports, and couldn’t breathe after running 20 meters. My childhood friend’s sister kicked me once so many times that I couldn’t walk. In total, it took me 8 years to gather the courage to actually sign up for a karate training. After 90 minutes of running, working out and fighting, my body felt like a furnace. And my hair was dripping with sweat. I was dead.

“Are you going to continue?” My mother asked me.

“Yes,” I said, and I didn’t think about it anymore. I just went on the next training. And on the next one. I gave it my best for 2 years, and I actually got good.

It was 2011. I wasn’t a talented manifester at the time. I lacked patience. I lacked insight. My mother was the only Law Of Attraction teacher I had, and her teachings were based on Rhonda Byrne’s “Secret” – which as we all know, is flawed. I tried to manifest, but things didn’t go my way. I was full of self doubt and self hate. I could kick the punching bag 50 times in a row, and still feel rage. In the end my anger turned to hopelessness. I lost the will to fight. And I quit.

I thought it was forever. But then, time passed. I gradually fixed myself. Then, I fixed my life. I manifested miracles and proclaimed myself the Ultimate Manifester. As I started getting better, the nostalgia over martial arts returned to me again. I downloaded Kung Fu Strike: The Warrior’s Rise, and started kicking virtual butts. It was fun. It gave me quality time. But it didn’t change anything in my life. It didn’t improve my health. It didn’t increase my strength. It didn’t make me a Karate Kid; but a nerd playing computer games.

I wish this story had a happy ending. I wish I could tell you, yes, I went to a training. I wore my old karate-gi and felt glory rushing through my veins.

But, there isn’t any karate gym in the city where I live. It’s upsetting, but I know I will eventually manifest one. This dream can’t run away from me forever.

What about you? Are you ready to really live your dreams? Or are you going to watch movies forever?

The movie can act as a manifestation tool. I explained it in my article on how to manifest moving to another country with the Law Of Attraction. If you watch a movie with the intent to get closer to your dream, then getting in the right mindset will help. However, most people watch movies just to kill time. This is the worst mindset ever. You will end up manifesting another movie – and another one.

What’s more, movies – like all pieces of art – have their own vibration. If you constantly watch thrillers and horrors, you are attracting fear into your reality. The fear won’t come to you as scary monsters; but as every day situations. In the end, you will be so scared that you will need a psychiatrist’s help.

If you are addicted to watching detective stories, maybe your inner investigator is calling you. Maybe you want to become a policeman, an attorney or a doctor.

If you are seeking romantic comedies all the time, then you must be lacking emotional fulfillment in some way.  Put more effort in your relationships. And if you are single, start actively pursuing your soulmate.

If you are into medieval fantasy, maybe modern life is too hectic for you. Take a break, go to the forest, play the flute.

It’s tempting to lose yourself in a story. Life tends to be dreary and depressing. I get it. I totally do! I’m a novelist – if anyone had escaped to the fictional world over and over again, that’s me.

But I didn’t abandon the real life me in the real life world. I wrote stories about palaces and at the same time, I did what I could have done to turn my real life home into a real life palace.

Be mindful of how you spend your time. Time is credit. If you spend all your free hours on consuming culture, don’t be surprised your life hasn’t moved forward at all. Don’t blame the Law Of Attraction for keeping you stuck at the same boring job, with little money.

I hope this helps.

Stay inspired!

What to do when your mental illness is ruining your Law Of Attraction attempts?

“I was born sick, but I love it. Command me to be well.”

– Hozier, Take Me To Church

The Law Of Attraction states that our thoughts create our reality… Thoughts are formed in our brains, and the science doesn’t lie: brains scans of people who suffer from ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, OCD and PTSD all look different from scans showing healthy brains.

People with mental health disorders are more likely to think negative, destructive or delusional thoughts; and these thoughts, sadly, are going to create their realities.

There is therapy and medication to help; but, the Law Of Attraction community refuses to give spiritual support to people who have a mental illness, yet try to manifest positive things.

Mental illness is thrown in the same sack as general negativity; it’s a shame to tell a Law Of Attraction coach that you are struggling with the manifestation, because you just can’t force yourself to feel better. If you tell them the story of how you’ve been treated, you will only hear you attracted this

Yes – sometimes we attract bad things. But not always. The Law Of Polarity, ladies and gentlemen, and The Law Of Cycles. There is good, there is bad, there are good seasons and there are bad seasons. The Law Of Cause And Effect! You made an online transaction and someone scammed you. Were you actively visualizing that when paying for the product? I doubt it!

And the dis-ease, as the Law Of Attraction likes to call it, is not entirely up to you. If you drink water you didn’t know was poisoned, you will get stomach cramps. Yet, the Law Of Attraction community is going to say, you probably needed to manifest something through the dis-ease, now stay positive and it will go away on its own.

Not every bad thing that happens is our fault; and although having a mental illness is likely to disrupt and hinder your manifestation work, it can’t totally block you from having success with the Law Of Attraction.

Do you know, why?

Because, the heart energy is stronger than brain energy.

And you do not carry your mental illness in your heart.

Yes, your brain is likely to affect your heart; and maybe you developed heart disease or other chest problems from stress and unhealthy lifestyle.

But that doesn’t change the fact that:

  • The heart’s magnetic field is the strongest rhythmic field produced by the human body
  • The heart is 5000 times stronger magnetically from the brain
  • The heart is 100 000 times stronger electrically from the brain

And it is in fact the heart energy that helps you manifest goals. Now the brain energy, it can either help – or hinder – your heart energy, depending on what thoughts you think.

  1. Seek treatment for your mental illness and commit to it. The mental illness isn’t like a storm; it won’t go away on its own. On the contrary, it will lay dormant for some time, and then strike you again. To win over it, you must outwit it, and you must be prepared to cope at all times. Don’t forget to take the medication. It will improve your brain’s chemistry, and help you think more positive thoughts. This, in turn, will help you create a better reality.
  2. Remember that the mental illness is not you, and not your heart energy. You witnessed a traumatic event; but you are not PTSD. The mental illness can’t take away your manifestation potential.
  3. Share less about your past (to avoid perpetuating it over and over again). Everyone experiences hardships and it’s important to talk about them – it’s a part of the healing process. But, digging in the past without an end, and telling everyone how life screw you over, multiple times, and in detail, is not a good idea. It only reinforces the energetical impact of that event and perpetuates the damage. Start telling a shorter story. Yes, my life wasn’t easy. I hurt a lot. But, I want to focus on the present, so I can build a better future for myself – this is a great story to tell. You are showing others – and yourself – that you got this.
  4. Stop being a survivor (or warrior), and become a builder instead. The Law Of Attraction is all about creating new realities. When you think of yourself that you are a survivor, you are telling the Universe, that you barely made it through its last creation. That’s not a good sign. And you think that you are a warrior, you are likely to attract even more wars to prove yourself. Be a builder. Let the Law Of Attraction give you the tools and materials. Then, watch your empire grow.
  5. “Never believe in predictions that do not empower you” (Sean Stephenson). It might feel tempting to swear at the Universe for not having given you this, or that thing; or to throw the Law Of Attraction to trash after the negativity piled up on your plate. But, in the long run, believing that this world will fail you is only going to make you feel worse… There is a famous story about two wolves that fight each other; one is good and one is bad. Which one wins? The one you feed, of course. If you feed the bad wolf, how can you expect the good wolf to win? The mental illness means that the bad wolf is stronger; and for this reason you should do everything you can not to give it food. Even though you are scared, scarred or depressed, you must believe in things that inspire positive action.
  6. Use the extra resources the mental illness gives you to do something which will generate a positive result. There are many ways in which you can do it: for example, start an advice blog directed to people with the same problem; or volunteer at events dedicated to your cause. Communicate your sadness by composing music and release your anger by training for a sports competition. When you see your negative emotions having a positive outcome, you will realize, that the thoughts generated by the mental illness won’t necessarily have a detrimental effect on your life.
  7. Plan the future according to your dreams, not your limitations. Things haven’t been great recently – you are far from anything that you’d like to see in your reality – I can get it. The mental illness is making it even worse – sadly that’s the perk of living with it. But, regardless of all that, you need to think about your future. You need to plan it, and if the plan you got doesn’t excite you, then you need to think up of another one. When you live according to your goals and values, doing things that matter to you, you automatically gain a sense of purpose in life.
  8. Keep in mind that the mental illness will spoil your manifestation attempts, and prepare to reverse the damage as soon as possible. Put all your visualization boards and affirmation postcards in one place. Add a gratitude journal, and other things that help you manifest. Consider making a self care kit as well. You never know when you will feel worse, and having a positive box nearby will help you remember about your recovery and manifestation goals.
  9. When you see something you manifested lose quality, break down, or disappear, immediately take action. Your miracles don’t have to be gone like the Sultan’s palace in the legend about Aladdin’s lamp; here is an article about saving your vanishing miracles.
  10. Resist the urge to spend all your time with people who have the same mental illness as you do. Yes, group therapy does help, but staying for hours on forums, reading posts about other people’s depression, misery and unhealthy coping mechanism is not going to make you feel better – on the contrary. You will become scared of your own mental illness, you will give it too much attention, and you will make it grow. Don’t feed the bad wolf. Feed the good wolf. I know it’s tempting to reblog depression on Tumblr or pin demotivating memes on Pinterest, but you must resist. Choose self love blogs and positivity boards instead.

If you would like to read more about the dark side of the Law Of Attraction, and manifesting good things from low vibrational spaces, check this category on Ultimate Manifester.

I hope this helps,

stay inspired!