I had a bad week; nearly all social interactions I participated in (except from those with family members) turned surprisingly sour, leaving me with a sense of dejection. Once again, I was disappointed with people I considered “old friends”, and it hurt enough to make me decide I won’t invest myself emotionally anymore.
What happened, exactly? Well, I tried to share my perspective and give some common advice in an attempt to help the other person out of their unhappiness. As it turned out, my intervention was unwelcome.
At times, things were even funnier: I didn’t even need to say anything, just trying to become a better version of myself triggered the other person so much that they:
- stopped having time for interactions with me;
- started reacting with aggression when I tried to talk to them;
- completely ghosted me (and blocked me on social media as well);
- actually tried to destroy things that I created for myself.
If I had done something bad to those people, I would have understood that they treated me like that. But, I haven’t done anything at all. I’ll tell you more: I was a great friend. I texted these friends regularly, I listened to them, I provided emotional support. But then, one day this, or last year, I was just cut out from their life, either without an explanation, or under a petty excuse I’d personally be ashamed to give. Trying to fix things was pointless, cause – they have already decided to throw me away.
“It is isn’t a high school thing or an age thing. It’s a people thing. People cut other people down out of jealousy, because of something broken inside them, or for no reason at all. Just don’t let them change you or stop you from singing or dancing around to your favorite song” – Taylor Swift
In 2013, I wasn’t doing that great. I was a depressed, anorexic girl who whined all the time about their pitiful existence. I had tons of friends at that time, everyone loved me, everyone wanted to meet me. Everyone was willing to lend a listening ear, and to comfort me.
In 2016, I began a personal revolution. And I haven’t ceased to improve myself, and my life, ever since. I’ve lost so many friends since then, that in the end, I began to hide the things I was working on, and the successes I had, for fear of losing even more old friends.
And since this has been going on for quite a long time, I’ve noticed a pattern.
Generally, the people who cut me off, are the ones who would like to change something, but never actually made any real steps (or gave up too fast). In short: those who lacked diligence and/or couldn’t deal with failures.
If you are somebody who has improved their life a lot thanks to your own determination and hard work – and your friends who haven’t followed this path are suddenly much less eager to hang out with you – know that it’s not your fault. You can’t force these people to become better versions of themselves, you can’t rescue them from continuing the mediocre lives that they are living. Changing something is up to them, not to you.
Sometimes, just being around you is enough to trigger them. Seeing you become the best version of yourself reminds them that they did nothing to improve their life, cause they were too lazy and lacked discipline. This is likely to install guilt and resentment in them, which will eventually make them avoid you. After all, it’s easier to cut you out rather than chase your success. Sad, but true.
And from a Law Of Attraction philosophy point of view: your vibration has changed so much, that you aren’t a match to that person anymore, and this is exactly what makes your relationship break.
The Universe works like a mirror: if you are a diligent person dedicated to self-improvement, you will mirror diligent people dedicated to self-improvement. Not people who are stagnating or regressing in their lives.
Sadly, instead of going to places where we could actually meet new people who would be vibrational matches to us, we continue digging in our friends’ list on Facebook, hoping to reignite the friendship with somebody we already new.
Which shouldn’t be a surprise. In the past, people were confined to their own village, and didn’t have many social options.
Sometimes, it might happen so, that an old Facebook friend shares the exact same interests as you – a month ago or so I reconnected with two old Facebook friends and it turned out that we had more things to discuss now than earlier. Which is a great thing.
However… in the majority of cases, Facebook is nothing else but a cemetery of old friendships.
We go on Facebook to take a look at the profile of a person who used to be our friend in the past, but this doesn’t change the fact that we’ve parted our ways with that person and are two completely different people now. We keep each other on Facebook, cause removing each other would equal to pretending we don’t know each other.
Often, we feel forced to hide who we are, simply because we have too many people on Facebook who aren’t our vibrational match. Instead of posting what we really care about, we worry what our old friends will think about us.
For this reason, I believe, that instead of focusing our attention on friends who ghosted us, or old acquaintances on Facebook, it’s best to spend time with people with whom we actually have something in common now. Not earlier.
- If you want to learn something, go to Skillshare or Masterclass.
- If you are a fan of something, go to AminoApps or Fanpop.
- If you are an artist, go to DeviantArt or Etsy.
- If you are an author, go on Twitter and Amazon.
- If you want to learn a language, go to Lang-8.
- If you want to travel, go to Couchsurfing and TripAdvisor.
- If you want to come out, go to an LGBTQIA+ community.
Simply be where your people are, and in no time, you’ll have tons of new friends with whom you can talk about everything.
There are people like you, just (probably) not on your Facebook. Continue your self-improvement journey and the right people will fit in.
I hope it helps.
Stay inspired, keep creating!